maybe its really us who change?

Life changes?
Or at least that's what I've always been told.

I've never really sat down to examine how my life has changed or noticed it changing until today. And it really wasn't anything too drastic, just maybe a small change in personality.

One of my coworkers and I were having a discussion about how working at PetSmart has changed our attitudes toward animals. Typical conversation that ended up leaving me pondering in thought.

When I first started working there, I wasn't really focused on the emotional bonds you are able to make with the animals you work with, but more with the routine of working with them. Making sure gerbil is fed, and chameleon is misted, and this and that. I guess you could say the "technical aspects" required of my job. But then as time went on, I adjusted to more of an emotional care for them. I want to make sure my animals have clean cages, fresh water and food, interesting toys, a loving home to go to, etc. I learned what they needed and why they needed it. 

Shelter dogs aren't just dogs. They are just as loving, if not more, than these "pure bred, registered, name brand" snippy yip yap dogs my snippy yip yap customers bring in. I find myself advising customers to check the shelter for a new puppy, or check the shelter for an old companion, or check the shelter for a this and that. All my answers have been check the shelter. "Care for those in need, not just a breed." Thankfully, the PetSmart I work at is partnered up with NoKill shelters, but I am not sure if all PetSmart's are. My heart goes out to those animals more than I realized... Shelter life is heartbreaking to me. Just thinking that a dog like my Allie doesn't have a permanent mommy makes my eyes water.

My personality change extends beyond just animals. I find myself mothering the small children that wonder into my department, taking it upon myself to soothe the crying baby whose mom is looking at fish with a younger sibling, taking the time to speak to the little ones who's days I make when I hand them their new pet. I don't know what it is, but those are the moments that make my job not really a job. The moment I've saved a little girls fishie, or doctored brother's lizard, or even given Mom courage that maintaining a cage isn't as hard as it seems. The emotion that comes across their face is one of complete and total thankfulness which is translatable in any language. I guess that's considered a matriarchal trait that I find is developing more and more as I age.

And with this matriarchal trait developing, I often find myself thanking God for the women who have raised me. Not just my mother, but my aunt, and my grandmothers. I swore I'd never have kids, but I think as of today, I want them. Not anywhere in the near future, but definitely in time. I still have a lot of living that I want to do so that when the time does come, I can devote my life to my children and have no regrets.

Maybe I did have some what of a little personality change recently, but I'm okay with it. I think it was a positive change. Back to my opening line...Life changes? Maybe somewhat, but I think what really happens is that we change in life. We grow up and begin to approach life in a different manner. A different mindset... maybe it is maturity?

life is chaotic, beautifully chaotic.

I used to think I hated routine. I preferred to be spontaneous and sporadic, and in some aspects I still do, but as I'm moving forward into my adulthood, I'm learning to appreciate routine and structure.

Life is changing, and with each passing change, I'm learning more and more about myself.

I've learned that I actually do enjoy cleaning my house. It feels amazing to come home to something I can call my own and it be nice and neat, exactly the way I left it.

I've learned that life is not all about being seen. The best things come behind closed doors... The memories you make with the family around a fireside, the laughs you share with those you love most, the sweet personality traits you remember about each other when you are just living every day normally.

I've learned that sometimes those sweet little gestures someone does for you out of the kindness of their heart are more important than the amount of money it took to show that gesture. To me, someone's genuine thoughts are priceless.

I've learned that not everyone has the same beliefs as you do. You will learn more about yourself and learn to appreciate the value of your own beliefs once you listen to theirs. Don't be arrogant and shut them out. Listen and learn. Respect that they have their own belief. Think about it from their point of view. You are an outsider to them, just as they are to you.

I've learned that you really can't buy happiness. To me, the definition of happiness isn't how many parties I went to, isn't how many slutty Halloween costumes I wore, isn't how many beers I drank, weed I smoked, guys I slept with. That's not what happiness is at all. Happiness is that moment at the end of the day when you stop and realize you are completely bored and totally okay with it cause you've completed your day with a smile on your face with the ones you love supporting you.

I've learned that love is hard, but the sacrifices you make are the strengths that pull you together. Love is one of the most amazing and strongest feelings in the entire world when both people are equally sacrificing.

I've learned work isn't called work because it's easy. Work is hard. Its long, boring, and tiresome. But I've also learned without work, you will have nothing. With that being said, work is rewarding. I know at the end day, when the work is done, I will make something of myself and have everything I want.

I've learned that dreams and goals change as you gain experience in the world. Chase your dreams and let life mold them. Enjoy the ride, you aren't going to make it out alive anyway.

And last but definitely not least, I've learned to tell the ones I love that I love them. Anything can happen and words unspoken speak the loudest.

Listen for my latest life motto song. 

The River- Garth Brooks

My Lovebug :)

Just wanted to get something off my chest… It is mushy gushy so be prepared to listen or don’t read…

I don’t think I give Joey enough credit for being as great of a man as he is… Yes, we don’t have the “perfect” relationship, but we do. It’s perfect to me. I can’t imagine being in any other relationship whether it be with some millionaire, some king of England, or even Channing Tatum. I just want my Joey.

Joey is my anchor I’ve been searching for and he makes me the happiest girl I’ve ever been. I've realized that he and I have been through a lot along our journey.  Before we became serious, we withstood the uncertainty of our relationship. There were times when we wouldn’t talk because of my exes.  I was the one who always had a controlling boyfriend, and sure enough, Joey waited for me. Not once can I remember him not being there for me. He was always just a phone call away, even at 3 in the morning.

We have experienced the "trying to be just 'friends'“ when we both wanted more. In fact last night, while laying there thinking about our relationship I remember thinking to myself, how quirky it is to think of my crush on him. I’ve always been googly over him. And I think both of my exes can stand to this: he has been, is, and always will be my weakness.

We became serious and experienced the hardships of a long distance relationship. I’d lay in my bed in Tennessee and long to just be held by him whether it be here or there. We’ve fell asleep on the phone with one another many nights. I still to this day remember every time we hung out before I moved down. I remember the night he told me he was moving down and I’m sure he remembers the melt down I had. I remember us standing in the moon light in some little cove like area sitting on the tailgate of Aaron’s step dad’s truck. Joey had his arms around me, if I’m not mistaking, he was holding my back pocket with one hand and my face/cheek area with the other. There is where we shared one of our most memorable kisses. Before it was interrupted by the frog. :P

I knew what I had to do. I had to make the move down here. It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. But somehow, someway, I put every ounce of faith I could work up in Joey and made the move. All 500 miles of it.

Still to this day, we are experiencing troubles and trials… Every couple does. Those are what define a relationship. It hasn’t been easy by any means, but our relationship has not faulted from it. I’m so happy to say that through all the hard we have been through, I have found the easy.  That’s loving him. He is the easiest person to love. He respects me, my opinions, and my feelings. Even after we have been together this long, he still tells me I’m beautiful and I believe he means it.

Life, as it is now, couldn’t be better. So, to my Joey: Thank you for being so easy to love. Thank you for being so easy to trust all the way from TN. Thank you for the days you take care of me, thank you for making being down here easy. Thank you for being my everything! I appreciate all that you do for me. I love you more than anything :)

Just wanted to get that out there. <3

Things get rough...

These past few weeks have probably been the most stressful weeks Ive ever experienced. My mind has literally had all it can take and I feel like I could sleep for days. In fact, just the other night, Joey and I both lay down for a nap and woke up the next morning.

I no longer see the path in front of me, I don't know which way I'm going or if I'm even moving forward in life. And I guess every young person comes to this point, but days like today make me really second guess some of my choices. Mine and Joey's relationship is the most important thing to me right now, but lately even that seems on the rocks. He and I are doing fine, just with both of us working, we don't see as much of each other as we used to. Plus, the stress of the tension in the house takes a toll on us as well.

I pray something gives....

2 months, too long.

So, its been almost 2 entire months since I've posted, and I would like to say I have an excuse, but at the end of the day, its still just an excuse. My excuse is the hustle and bustle of life. In the past 2 months I feel like we have accomplished what I used to accomplish in 6. In no specific order, here is what the past weeks have been about.

1.) We moved in to a new house. And if anyone has ever moved, no matter how far away, you know it is a challenge that you don't realize how hard it is till you are mopping the floor at 11 at night.  I'm so glad Joey and I have more space, but I literally thought that week and weekend was going to kill me in my tracks. I've never washed walls and floors so hard. I legitimately felt like Cinderella, before she became the princess.

The new house is amazing, but the move and all made me realize how glad I will be when Joey and I are by ourselves. Just us. Me and Him. No one to gripe if we go somewhere at 11 at night, no one to get mad when we don't eat their cooking, no one to bother us. Just be able to live our life as we want it.

New House

2.) Easter weekend with his family was amazing to say the least. I am so glad the "in laws" won't be strangers. We had an "international Easter." Sushi and Crawfish combined with the normal Easter foods was quite unique for me. My family would have never ate that. I tried some eel, which was an interesting experience to say the least. Joey's cousin, Mike, had brought some of his friends home for the weekend. They were from New York and very different from us. Very nice people and they shared some laughs with us that I wont ever forget. We also went "sight seeing" which about killed me as well. I definitely thought I had been attacked by an alligator.

Never been this close to one before :)

3.) The best mudding I've ever experienced happened down here, but it also sent me to the ER for 3 days. :/ Came out with 6 kidney stones and a cyst. GO ME! I'm guessing the jarring from the four wheelers broke them up, but who knows. I just know that I had a blast, and will do it again! Joey was very amazing, he stood by my side the entire time. Even slept over at the hospital with me :)

4.) Aaron and Stacye came, and yeah. "I swear to drunk, I'm not God. Boobs and Homeless men. Skipping down Bourbon Street.The Question game." Yeah, what happens in NOLA stays in NOLA. We had a blast to say the least. I love my group of friends. They are perfect for me. 

Yelp, we were all sober.

My Stacye :)

We literally have been friends for years, and have maybe 3 pictures together.

5.) I'm still falling more and more in love with my best friend. We just celebrated our half anniversary with 96 tea light candles, a pet palm tree we are naming George Edward, and some sparkling grape Juice. He is my Mr. Right :) <3

My new favorite picture of us :)

So, that was an over view of the big things that have happened. I hope to blog more often like I used to... My life has become the most amazing adventure and I never dreamed I'd be this happy.

spontaneity keeps you young ♥

One: 10 things you want to say to the nameless. 

1.) Although you piss me off at least once EVERY single day, I'm beginning to see that I have to be the bigger person and hold my tongue for the sake of stability in the house.

2.) You have been one of my closest friends for so long that I often take for granted how great of a person you really are.

3.) Our relationship taught me so much, but the most important thing it taught me was that you were exactly everything I didn't want/ need in my life. I treasure the good times we had, but am so thankful we came to the point we are.

4.) I often wonder how many things you have betrayed me with...

5.) Fishing beside the water brings back endless amounts of memories, and I never told you how thankful I am for you. Now that I'm grown, I wish I was little again to crawl in your lap and argue how much "more" I love you.

6.) I hope you fly away and never come back.

7.) I catch myself just staring at you in amazement. I'm one lucky girl <3

8.) You better hope I never get the chance or the temptation to lay my hands on you. I'd love to rearrange that face he so thought he fell in love with for you.

9.) I am so thankful you are in my life, also, I am so thankful you are 500 miles away.

10.) I pray for you, like the song, not the literal.

Two. 9 things about yourself.

1.) I wish I was five foot seven and 130 pounds, but I do like my curves, and whats one inch? ;)

2.) I wish I had enough confidence to do something drastic to my hair, but I always "play it safe."

3.) I still haven't decided what I want to be when I grow up.

4.) I want my own wedding planning business later in life.

5.) I used to think I didnt want kids, but I'm leaning more towards 2 or 3.

6.) I wish I was super motivated to blog still...

7.) I will own my own house one day.

8.) I feel like I am pretty simple to please... I wonder if everyone else feels the same.

9.) I'd love to travel to all 7 continents.

 Three. 8 ways to win my heart. 

[My heart has already been won, but I'll tell you 8 ways he steals my heart everyday...]

1.) When he is barely awake, but turns over and snuggles up to me with his hands buried in my hair holding me as close as we possibly could be. 

2.) When I finally open my eyes and see him whispering, "good morning, Beautiful."

3.) Those sweet little moments he wraps both his hands around my face and looks at me. We can say so much just with that look.

4.) Kinda personal, but I absolutely love how we hardly ever shower by ourselves. I treasure that because at one point in our life, we will be just the opposite. 

5.) When we have little dates just to ourselves. (: 

6.) When he opens the door for me anytime I'm getting in the truck.

7.) When he caters to my every need. I'm so thankful he treats me better than a Queen. 

8.) How he is so devoted to our relationship :)

Four: 7 things that cross my mind.

1.) Joey. He crosses my mind so much.

2.) My family back in Tennessee.

3.) School. I miss it soo much.

4.) Allie Belle. She is amazing.

5.) Far fetched and far away, but my kids... I wonder if they will be like me or Joey.

6.) Photography. I'd love to learn.

7.) Purses. I want a closet full.

Five. 6 things you couldn't live without. 

1.) I couldn't live without my rings. I always feel naked without them.

2.) My family... I dont think I need to explain this one. 

3.) My shampoo & conditioner. & They have to match. I can't stand oily hair. 

4.) My boyfriend <3... I could live without him, but I sure as heck don't want to. 

5.) My memories. I wouldn't be who I am today without them. 

6.) My goals, aspirations, & ambitions. Why would I want to live if I didn't have them?

Six. 5 people who mean a lot.

Yes, these are grouped, but I have way more than 5 people who mean a lot to me.

 

1.) RONALD JOSEPH VOISEL

2.) My Parents. 

3.) The rest of my family. 

4.) Stacye & Aaron. 

5.) Joey's family.

Seven: 4 turnoffs. 

1.) Excuse the language, but I literally have heard this more than once.. That "get money, fuck bitches" attitude a lot of guys have. 

2.) Guys who are so arrogant, you cant get a word in otherwise. 

3.) When a guy tries to get with you right after a break up. 

4.) When a guy calls his girl his "main squeeze".

Three. Three turn ons. 

1.) Ears. Neck. Hair. He knows. ;)

2.) Polo: Double Black. 

3.) His kisses. ;) 

Nine: 2 smileys that describe your life right now. 

1.) :D

2.) :D

Yes, bigggg smiles. 

 

Ten: 1 confession. 

 1.) I still have accidents when you scare me bad enough.  

ALL DONE! :)

Today, I Am a Rant Ant.

“Growing up is never straight forward. There are moments when everything is fine, and other moments everything is out of control. You will realize that there are certain memories that you'll never get back, and certain people that are going to change, and the hardest part is knowing that there's nothing you can do except sit back and watch them..."

                         -Aleden Nowlan

I can't remember a time when I didn't want to grow up. It could never come soon enough. The adult world seemed ideal during that time. A "do as you please" lifestyle is everything I wanted. In my mind at that time, the only concept of being an adult was: No one to tell me to do the dishes, no one to make me go to bed, and no one to tell me I could not do something. I wanted to make my own choices, do my own thing, only have to care about myself, and most of all, I wanted to not have to listen to anyone. Bills didn't exist, and money was limitless...If only that preset conception of an adult was the actual reality of being an adult.

In reality... Bills do exist, and there are A LOT of them. Money is not limitless, and there is NOT a lot of it. You still have to listen to people... Just now, punishment for not listening includes jail, more bills, and even more consequences than to be just grounded for a month. No one tells me to do the dishes, but no one will do them for me if I don't. No one makes me go to bed, but now I have so much to do, I always want to go to bed. No one tells me what I can't do, just what I have to do. No one ever mentioned the many things that become your responsibility once you leave the comfort of your mothers wing. Just in this week I have filed my taxes for the first time ever, applied for my birth certificate, changed my driver's license, and applied for insurance.

Officially a Louisianian.

Another part of growing up that's so unfortunate is you lose some of the people closest to you.. I guess part of growing up is deciding which of those "friends" are actually your FRIENDS. So many people have walked in and out of my life that I really do have less than a handful of people I would consider my friends. Of course, all friendships have their ups and downs, but at times, you have to realize not everyone will always be your BFF.

Now, that I'm done with my rant, on the brighter side of life...

New Orleans is becoming more and more permanent. I'll get to experience Mardi Gra first hand, and I can't wait to see my first parade! Joey and I are doing great, and I'm still falling in love with him over and over again. I'm excited to start working and saving money so that one day, Joey and I will be all out on our own.  Life is coming together, slowly, but surely. :)