life is chaotic, beautifully chaotic.

I used to think I hated routine. I preferred to be spontaneous and sporadic, and in some aspects I still do, but as I'm moving forward into my adulthood, I'm learning to appreciate routine and structure.

Life is changing, and with each passing change, I'm learning more and more about myself.

I've learned that I actually do enjoy cleaning my house. It feels amazing to come home to something I can call my own and it be nice and neat, exactly the way I left it.

I've learned that life is not all about being seen. The best things come behind closed doors... The memories you make with the family around a fireside, the laughs you share with those you love most, the sweet personality traits you remember about each other when you are just living every day normally.

I've learned that sometimes those sweet little gestures someone does for you out of the kindness of their heart are more important than the amount of money it took to show that gesture. To me, someone's genuine thoughts are priceless.

I've learned that not everyone has the same beliefs as you do. You will learn more about yourself and learn to appreciate the value of your own beliefs once you listen to theirs. Don't be arrogant and shut them out. Listen and learn. Respect that they have their own belief. Think about it from their point of view. You are an outsider to them, just as they are to you.

I've learned that you really can't buy happiness. To me, the definition of happiness isn't how many parties I went to, isn't how many slutty Halloween costumes I wore, isn't how many beers I drank, weed I smoked, guys I slept with. That's not what happiness is at all. Happiness is that moment at the end of the day when you stop and realize you are completely bored and totally okay with it cause you've completed your day with a smile on your face with the ones you love supporting you.

I've learned that love is hard, but the sacrifices you make are the strengths that pull you together. Love is one of the most amazing and strongest feelings in the entire world when both people are equally sacrificing.

I've learned work isn't called work because it's easy. Work is hard. Its long, boring, and tiresome. But I've also learned without work, you will have nothing. With that being said, work is rewarding. I know at the end day, when the work is done, I will make something of myself and have everything I want.

I've learned that dreams and goals change as you gain experience in the world. Chase your dreams and let life mold them. Enjoy the ride, you aren't going to make it out alive anyway.

And last but definitely not least, I've learned to tell the ones I love that I love them. Anything can happen and words unspoken speak the loudest.

Listen for my latest life motto song. 

The River- Garth Brooks

My Lovebug :)

Just wanted to get something off my chest… It is mushy gushy so be prepared to listen or don’t read…

I don’t think I give Joey enough credit for being as great of a man as he is… Yes, we don’t have the “perfect” relationship, but we do. It’s perfect to me. I can’t imagine being in any other relationship whether it be with some millionaire, some king of England, or even Channing Tatum. I just want my Joey.

Joey is my anchor I’ve been searching for and he makes me the happiest girl I’ve ever been. I've realized that he and I have been through a lot along our journey.  Before we became serious, we withstood the uncertainty of our relationship. There were times when we wouldn’t talk because of my exes.  I was the one who always had a controlling boyfriend, and sure enough, Joey waited for me. Not once can I remember him not being there for me. He was always just a phone call away, even at 3 in the morning.

We have experienced the "trying to be just 'friends'“ when we both wanted more. In fact last night, while laying there thinking about our relationship I remember thinking to myself, how quirky it is to think of my crush on him. I’ve always been googly over him. And I think both of my exes can stand to this: he has been, is, and always will be my weakness.

We became serious and experienced the hardships of a long distance relationship. I’d lay in my bed in Tennessee and long to just be held by him whether it be here or there. We’ve fell asleep on the phone with one another many nights. I still to this day remember every time we hung out before I moved down. I remember the night he told me he was moving down and I’m sure he remembers the melt down I had. I remember us standing in the moon light in some little cove like area sitting on the tailgate of Aaron’s step dad’s truck. Joey had his arms around me, if I’m not mistaking, he was holding my back pocket with one hand and my face/cheek area with the other. There is where we shared one of our most memorable kisses. Before it was interrupted by the frog. :P

I knew what I had to do. I had to make the move down here. It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. But somehow, someway, I put every ounce of faith I could work up in Joey and made the move. All 500 miles of it.

Still to this day, we are experiencing troubles and trials… Every couple does. Those are what define a relationship. It hasn’t been easy by any means, but our relationship has not faulted from it. I’m so happy to say that through all the hard we have been through, I have found the easy.  That’s loving him. He is the easiest person to love. He respects me, my opinions, and my feelings. Even after we have been together this long, he still tells me I’m beautiful and I believe he means it.

Life, as it is now, couldn’t be better. So, to my Joey: Thank you for being so easy to love. Thank you for being so easy to trust all the way from TN. Thank you for the days you take care of me, thank you for making being down here easy. Thank you for being my everything! I appreciate all that you do for me. I love you more than anything :)

Just wanted to get that out there. <3

Things get rough...

These past few weeks have probably been the most stressful weeks Ive ever experienced. My mind has literally had all it can take and I feel like I could sleep for days. In fact, just the other night, Joey and I both lay down for a nap and woke up the next morning.

I no longer see the path in front of me, I don't know which way I'm going or if I'm even moving forward in life. And I guess every young person comes to this point, but days like today make me really second guess some of my choices. Mine and Joey's relationship is the most important thing to me right now, but lately even that seems on the rocks. He and I are doing fine, just with both of us working, we don't see as much of each other as we used to. Plus, the stress of the tension in the house takes a toll on us as well.

I pray something gives....

2 months, too long.

So, its been almost 2 entire months since I've posted, and I would like to say I have an excuse, but at the end of the day, its still just an excuse. My excuse is the hustle and bustle of life. In the past 2 months I feel like we have accomplished what I used to accomplish in 6. In no specific order, here is what the past weeks have been about.

1.) We moved in to a new house. And if anyone has ever moved, no matter how far away, you know it is a challenge that you don't realize how hard it is till you are mopping the floor at 11 at night.  I'm so glad Joey and I have more space, but I literally thought that week and weekend was going to kill me in my tracks. I've never washed walls and floors so hard. I legitimately felt like Cinderella, before she became the princess.

The new house is amazing, but the move and all made me realize how glad I will be when Joey and I are by ourselves. Just us. Me and Him. No one to gripe if we go somewhere at 11 at night, no one to get mad when we don't eat their cooking, no one to bother us. Just be able to live our life as we want it.

New House

2.) Easter weekend with his family was amazing to say the least. I am so glad the "in laws" won't be strangers. We had an "international Easter." Sushi and Crawfish combined with the normal Easter foods was quite unique for me. My family would have never ate that. I tried some eel, which was an interesting experience to say the least. Joey's cousin, Mike, had brought some of his friends home for the weekend. They were from New York and very different from us. Very nice people and they shared some laughs with us that I wont ever forget. We also went "sight seeing" which about killed me as well. I definitely thought I had been attacked by an alligator.

Never been this close to one before :)

3.) The best mudding I've ever experienced happened down here, but it also sent me to the ER for 3 days. :/ Came out with 6 kidney stones and a cyst. GO ME! I'm guessing the jarring from the four wheelers broke them up, but who knows. I just know that I had a blast, and will do it again! Joey was very amazing, he stood by my side the entire time. Even slept over at the hospital with me :)

4.) Aaron and Stacye came, and yeah. "I swear to drunk, I'm not God. Boobs and Homeless men. Skipping down Bourbon Street.The Question game." Yeah, what happens in NOLA stays in NOLA. We had a blast to say the least. I love my group of friends. They are perfect for me. 

Yelp, we were all sober.

My Stacye :)

We literally have been friends for years, and have maybe 3 pictures together.

5.) I'm still falling more and more in love with my best friend. We just celebrated our half anniversary with 96 tea light candles, a pet palm tree we are naming George Edward, and some sparkling grape Juice. He is my Mr. Right :) <3

My new favorite picture of us :)

So, that was an over view of the big things that have happened. I hope to blog more often like I used to... My life has become the most amazing adventure and I never dreamed I'd be this happy.

spontaneity keeps you young ♥

One: 10 things you want to say to the nameless. 

1.) Although you piss me off at least once EVERY single day, I'm beginning to see that I have to be the bigger person and hold my tongue for the sake of stability in the house.

2.) You have been one of my closest friends for so long that I often take for granted how great of a person you really are.

3.) Our relationship taught me so much, but the most important thing it taught me was that you were exactly everything I didn't want/ need in my life. I treasure the good times we had, but am so thankful we came to the point we are.

4.) I often wonder how many things you have betrayed me with...

5.) Fishing beside the water brings back endless amounts of memories, and I never told you how thankful I am for you. Now that I'm grown, I wish I was little again to crawl in your lap and argue how much "more" I love you.

6.) I hope you fly away and never come back.

7.) I catch myself just staring at you in amazement. I'm one lucky girl <3

8.) You better hope I never get the chance or the temptation to lay my hands on you. I'd love to rearrange that face he so thought he fell in love with for you.

9.) I am so thankful you are in my life, also, I am so thankful you are 500 miles away.

10.) I pray for you, like the song, not the literal.

Two. 9 things about yourself.

1.) I wish I was five foot seven and 130 pounds, but I do like my curves, and whats one inch? ;)

2.) I wish I had enough confidence to do something drastic to my hair, but I always "play it safe."

3.) I still haven't decided what I want to be when I grow up.

4.) I want my own wedding planning business later in life.

5.) I used to think I didnt want kids, but I'm leaning more towards 2 or 3.

6.) I wish I was super motivated to blog still...

7.) I will own my own house one day.

8.) I feel like I am pretty simple to please... I wonder if everyone else feels the same.

9.) I'd love to travel to all 7 continents.

 Three. 8 ways to win my heart. 

[My heart has already been won, but I'll tell you 8 ways he steals my heart everyday...]

1.) When he is barely awake, but turns over and snuggles up to me with his hands buried in my hair holding me as close as we possibly could be. 

2.) When I finally open my eyes and see him whispering, "good morning, Beautiful."

3.) Those sweet little moments he wraps both his hands around my face and looks at me. We can say so much just with that look.

4.) Kinda personal, but I absolutely love how we hardly ever shower by ourselves. I treasure that because at one point in our life, we will be just the opposite. 

5.) When we have little dates just to ourselves. (: 

6.) When he opens the door for me anytime I'm getting in the truck.

7.) When he caters to my every need. I'm so thankful he treats me better than a Queen. 

8.) How he is so devoted to our relationship :)

Four: 7 things that cross my mind.

1.) Joey. He crosses my mind so much.

2.) My family back in Tennessee.

3.) School. I miss it soo much.

4.) Allie Belle. She is amazing.

5.) Far fetched and far away, but my kids... I wonder if they will be like me or Joey.

6.) Photography. I'd love to learn.

7.) Purses. I want a closet full.

Five. 6 things you couldn't live without. 

1.) I couldn't live without my rings. I always feel naked without them.

2.) My family... I dont think I need to explain this one. 

3.) My shampoo & conditioner. & They have to match. I can't stand oily hair. 

4.) My boyfriend <3... I could live without him, but I sure as heck don't want to. 

5.) My memories. I wouldn't be who I am today without them. 

6.) My goals, aspirations, & ambitions. Why would I want to live if I didn't have them?

Six. 5 people who mean a lot.

Yes, these are grouped, but I have way more than 5 people who mean a lot to me.

 

1.) RONALD JOSEPH VOISEL

2.) My Parents. 

3.) The rest of my family. 

4.) Stacye & Aaron. 

5.) Joey's family.

Seven: 4 turnoffs. 

1.) Excuse the language, but I literally have heard this more than once.. That "get money, fuck bitches" attitude a lot of guys have. 

2.) Guys who are so arrogant, you cant get a word in otherwise. 

3.) When a guy tries to get with you right after a break up. 

4.) When a guy calls his girl his "main squeeze".

Three. Three turn ons. 

1.) Ears. Neck. Hair. He knows. ;)

2.) Polo: Double Black. 

3.) His kisses. ;) 

Nine: 2 smileys that describe your life right now. 

1.) :D

2.) :D

Yes, bigggg smiles. 

 

Ten: 1 confession. 

 1.) I still have accidents when you scare me bad enough.  

ALL DONE! :)

Today, I Am a Rant Ant.

“Growing up is never straight forward. There are moments when everything is fine, and other moments everything is out of control. You will realize that there are certain memories that you'll never get back, and certain people that are going to change, and the hardest part is knowing that there's nothing you can do except sit back and watch them..."

                         -Aleden Nowlan

I can't remember a time when I didn't want to grow up. It could never come soon enough. The adult world seemed ideal during that time. A "do as you please" lifestyle is everything I wanted. In my mind at that time, the only concept of being an adult was: No one to tell me to do the dishes, no one to make me go to bed, and no one to tell me I could not do something. I wanted to make my own choices, do my own thing, only have to care about myself, and most of all, I wanted to not have to listen to anyone. Bills didn't exist, and money was limitless...If only that preset conception of an adult was the actual reality of being an adult.

In reality... Bills do exist, and there are A LOT of them. Money is not limitless, and there is NOT a lot of it. You still have to listen to people... Just now, punishment for not listening includes jail, more bills, and even more consequences than to be just grounded for a month. No one tells me to do the dishes, but no one will do them for me if I don't. No one makes me go to bed, but now I have so much to do, I always want to go to bed. No one tells me what I can't do, just what I have to do. No one ever mentioned the many things that become your responsibility once you leave the comfort of your mothers wing. Just in this week I have filed my taxes for the first time ever, applied for my birth certificate, changed my driver's license, and applied for insurance.

Officially a Louisianian.

Another part of growing up that's so unfortunate is you lose some of the people closest to you.. I guess part of growing up is deciding which of those "friends" are actually your FRIENDS. So many people have walked in and out of my life that I really do have less than a handful of people I would consider my friends. Of course, all friendships have their ups and downs, but at times, you have to realize not everyone will always be your BFF.

Now, that I'm done with my rant, on the brighter side of life...

New Orleans is becoming more and more permanent. I'll get to experience Mardi Gra first hand, and I can't wait to see my first parade! Joey and I are doing great, and I'm still falling in love with him over and over again. I'm excited to start working and saving money so that one day, Joey and I will be all out on our own.  Life is coming together, slowly, but surely. :)

Birthday! Scratch that, Birthweekend!

My weekend was quite adventurous, at least a little more adventure filled than a few other birthdays. I was lucky enough to have a birthday weekend, not just a day. Given that I am 500 miles away from my family, I didn't know what I would feel or if it would even feel like my birthday with them so far away. Ironically, I felt closer to them this year than I have in a long time.

Let's start with Friday! A few weeks back, I asked Joey to be my Valentine. And to be honest, I didn't know if he was even going to acknowledge asking me... I kept dropping hints thinking maybe he'd get the hint. Well obviously he did, and he pays attention more than I know. I love pink roses, not that I don't like red, they are just cliche. I'd rather have pink, or a bouquet of assorted flowers. He was acting very secretive earlier and I figured it was something to do with my birthday, so it didn't cross my mind it was about my flowers. We went out, and went to Winn Dixie where Joey wouldn't let me go in with him... It kinda hurt my feelings, but was like "okay, whatever". I'll wait in the truck. I played on his phone and didn't notice him coming out. He knocks on my window with the biggest grin on his face. I opened the door and he made me turn my head. At this point, I get a little scared cause I figure he is going to throw something at me and its gonna scare me half to death. I'm told to turn around and I have the prettiest bouquet of pink roses in my face. I looked at Joey and with the sweetest smile he quietly asks, "Babe, will you be my Valentine?"

<3

I asked him if he was sure he wanted me to be his Valentine, and then I said yes, after a reassuring kiss. I felt so loved. I later found out that he had searched all day and called many florists just trying to find my PINK roses. That to me meant more than anything. I absolutely love my flowers.

Later that night, we went to see The Vow, which wasn't as good as planned, but made me realize how much I love my boyfriend. I have a love that's as amazing as the ones shown in movies, if not better. Joey makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. He was the first one to tell me Happy Birthday this year and I hope I have him to spend it with every year!

Saturday morning began early for Joey! I woke up around 9, and was bound and determined to wake Joey up too! I started tickling him and jumping up and down on the bed. I was so excited and happy that he couldn't get up fast enough. After breakfast, we decided to go the aquarium. I love animals and had been wanting to go for a while now. Today day seemed like the perfect day!!

We braved the winds to get tickets. While standing there, Joey brings up Grand Isle and asks if I want to go camp there that night. I'm always up for camping, so of course I jumped on it and got my hopes up. I let it go for the time being because I was focused on seeing the animals. We moved up the line, got our tickets,  and then we were in! I loved looking at all the animals, but I think the best part was strolling around with not a care in the world holding my Love's hand.  At the end of the experience, I think I learned one thing. I don't need diamonds or new purses, elaborate parties, or expensive gifts of any kind. Time spent with people I love means more to me than any present could ever could.

These are just a few of the pics we took at the aquarium.

After we made it to the end of the tour, the Grand Isle idea came back up. This time I was for sure I wanted to go camping. Joey looked at the weather and told me it was going to be cold, but I was heart set on camping on the beach for my birthday. We went to eat lunch and over lunch, we came up with a list of things we would need. The plan was in motion. We came home, began to pack, and bought the stuff we would need. I gave the puppies a bath because they were going to go with us! We loaded the truck and hit the road. The dogs did great, such a blessing. They were quite cute in the back seat all snuggled up in the blankets with their hopes all high that they were getting to go on a trip!

Kinda hard to see, but this is Tucker and Allie on the way to Grand Isle.

We drove down there, hand in hand, just talking away. We pull up and get out, and I knew it was going to be one long night. It was sooo cold. Joey and I get out the tent with all the stuff or so we thought... Some genius forgot the stakes to hold the tent down, so we fought with the wind and tent for about 15 minutes before we gave up and decided the truck would prolly be warmer. Here is where it gets funny... We move the dogs to the front seat and begin to make a bed in the back seat. Keep in mind, we have the seats laid down and are two not so small people, both trying to fit in this little space. We get laid down, and then decide we are hungry... So we get back up, brave the cold again, and get the bread and meat. I thought ahead and packed mayo and and knife. :) We had our first flashlight dinner in the backseat all snuggled up in blankets under the moonlight and stars. I loved it, even though I was beyond cold.

We finally got bundled down for the night and I fell asleep fine. I barely remember Joey swapping sides with me, and I think we moved twice. I always sleep good when I'm completely snuggled up with his arms around me, so I knocked out fast. But Joey on the other hand, slept just a few hours the whole night. He woke me up around 3 and said, "Baby, do you think we could please go home?" It was so cute, yet pitiful all at the same time. We got up and got moving around.. I then was hit with the urge to pee. Gosh, Ive never had to pee soo bad. I got out, and peed outside in 30* weather, with the wind blowing like crazy. I didn't know it was possible for a girl to pee forward, but that night. I couldn't stop laughing at the cold, wind blown experience of peeing on the beach. Then, it hit Joey. He was even funnier. He was peeing and jumping up and down screaming! I couldnt stop laughing at his crazy self. Once we got back in we were like screaming and shivering and yelling and laughing, and just having a blast at 3 in the morning.

We finally got back on the road, paid the toll, and ate McDonalds all before 6 in the morning. I got the see the sunrise, and proudly claimed that I got to spend the night on the beach for my birthday...Even if it was in the truck.

Sunrise :)

Sunday! We napped from 8-12 to make up for our sleepless night. We decided that we should go fishing since we brought fishing license the day before to fish on the beach and didnt get to use them... We didnt really have to get much together because it was all in the truck from the night before. We didnt catch anything that day, except Pneumonia... Least it felt like we would since it was soo cold.

I got to spend so much quality time with the love of my life. We laughed and cut up the entire weekend, and once again. He made me fall in love with him all over again. I'm one lucky girl.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Big Girl Panties

This is going to be a short (well, shorter than usual) blog, just because I actually have to get up early tomorrow. I do have to say that overall today was a very successful day.

The Lovey Curb Jumper

 
I drove...finally. Seems simple, but not for me. I was not ready for the big scary crowded confusing u-turning roads of New Orleans. But, I conquered my fear and am ready to adventure out again tomorrow. I'm not ready to go on my own yet, but I do feel I am making progress. Tomorrow consists of getting my Drivers License! I've been here long enough, and I feel more and more everyday, like this is where I belong. I finally feel like I am finding myself day by day, and I have reached the happiest point in my life. I'm so excited and I know the best is yet to come. I'm planning out my future and making even more dreams & ambitions. My parents always wished big things for me... But, I bet they didn't wish a population of 343,829 big. I'm gonna make their dreams come true as I live out mine.

It is going to be so exciting getting a LA drivers license. Kind of a sense of permanence.

Also, I am getting ready to file taxes for the first time! Although I feel like I'm stressed to the max worried that one night the FBI are gonna show up at my door if I don't do them correct, I am excited to get it over with just to be able to say I did it!

Honestly, I think I'm transitioning from a bratty little girl into a fine young woman. If I don't learn anything else about life ever, I am learning that sometimes you just have to take leaps and trust that things will find their way. Coming down here was my first leap, and I wouldn't take it back if you paid me all the money in the world. I think the best part of being down here finding myself is knowing that I have such a supportive family back home that are my biggest fans. I can not convey how much they ALL mean to me. I'm a very blessed young lady.

Simplicity

"Sometimes you'll reach a point when it feels like your life is on the edge of a cliff. Your stomach is in your throat, knees wobbled by gut-wrenching tragedy. No matter where you are in your journey, young or old, you'll face times when you've lost control. You'll feel hopeless, insecure, and scared.

Yet even in those times, at the depth of despair, no hope, no options, there's always a light to guide you. That light is inside you, the undying spirit given to you at birth, the will to live, to survive, to keep going. Clinch it. Hold on tight, and with all your might, push yourself off the ground, take a deep breath, look UP, and listen.

There's a voice, silently whispering; "This too shall pass. Keep going. You've got what it takes. You'll make it. Don't give up!"

For the past few days, I've sat wondering what to blog on. Its not as easy as you would think, but during my thinking I've seen it really was easy... I'm going to blog about those "simple" things in life that you would never notice until you over analyze things. Until you become so stressed and overwhelmed that the little things become quite big. Let's write this blog in list form so its easiest to understand.

When Joey wakes me up in the mornings to tell me bye- Something so minor mean so much to me. I will wake up everyday at 5 in the morning for the rest of my life if it means spending those few little minutes with him. We get all snuggled up literally for less than 5 minutes. Then, I tell him to have a good day, that I love him, and Bye. Seems so pointless to some... But to me, if he doesn't wake me, I feel like my whole day is off.

When I get out of the shower and my Allie Belle is sitting out their waiting for me- Makes me feel like she actually missed me for the 15 minutes I was out of her site. And its just so cute to walk out of there and see her whining just because she wanted me.

When I call and talk to my Mom- Everyone can call their Mom, but I feel so much better after I talk to her. I want nothing more out of life than for her to be proud of me at the end of the day. I know I've made mistakes and we've had a rocky relationship, but she is my Mom and loves me for me. I am absolutely amazed at her and how much of a strong person she is. I only hope I am half the mother she is today.

When Stacye and I go on little dates- Those meant so much to me. We also have had some ups and downs, but at the end of the day, I'd go to the end of the Earth for that girl. And I know she would for me too. Lord knows I dont tell her enough, but I am proud to call her my bestfriend.

When someone randomly messages you words that make you feel amazing- Aunt Mary wrote on my wall today, and literally made my day. I've been having some what of a blehblah day. Just not feeling happy, but not feeling sad. Got a lot on my mind, but then with that one post, I began to smile and see how blessed I am. I love her. She is the best aunt and my favorite <3

When I have dreams about my Papaw Roger and its like he is still right with me- A lot of people would think its weird, but I have dreams where we he is still with me. Like down here in Louisiana. Memories that I have no way of knowing, because he has never been here with me and has been dead for many years now.  But they are soothing. Almost comforting, kinda like he is up there watching out for me and is letting me know that I'm okay...

When I'm having an off night and I message Aaron and he just lets me vent- He and I have been up and down a lot too, but never once has he turned his back on me. He is truly like a brother to me and always makes me feel better about anything I am going through. A great person, and my best friend.

Sunsets- They are beautiful, no matter where you see them. Whether its on the beach some where, or just riding down the road after spending time with someone you love. A beautiful sight that puts life into perspective.

This blog may be my most boring, but take the time to think about the "simple" things in your life. They are the things that make life worth living. My life isn't perfect, but it IS perfect. I'm so blessed. <3

Valentine, Be Mine?

It's a little over 2 weeks till Valentines Day, but I wanted to be able to enjoy it and do it the right way. To actually ask Joey to be my Valentine and to do it before he could ask me. I didn't want a cliche simple way to ask him. So for two days, I sat thinking for cute ways to do it. Then, it hit me. I wanted it to be a surprise and for it to be special. And I wanted to remember it, play by play, so I decided I should take my camera along.

My original plan was to do it Thursday, but because I'm impatient, I moved it to Tuesday. I told him we were going out while he was at work and by the time he got there, I had pulled my outfit together and was finishing my hair. I've never had more butterflies in my entire life and was literally shaking with nervousness. He came home while I was finishing my makeup. It seemed like eyeliner was so hard to put on because my hands were shaking... I was literally ready to puke with excitement, nervousness, and more excitement. I think I kept it hid pretty well. Well, at least the nervousness, because I was bursting with energy.

We decided we'd go to New Orleans Hamburger & Seafood! We sat down, ordered our drinks. I had no clue what I wanted to eat and with so much on my mind, it was really hard to choose. I played it safe with just a regular Cheeseburger and some amazing fries! Joey ordered some Thin Fried Catfish, which was also perfect! We placed our orders, but were left with nothing but the waiting game. I had given him some hints a week before about Valentines day and I brought them up trying to...I guess make him think about it, but I knew my hints were far out there. It seemed like forever for the food to come out because I was so ready to get the hardest part over with. He began trying to Google the hints, so I took his phone and deterred his search.

Screenshot of my distracting techniques.

Joey's Fish

My Burger

After we were done eating, I had the waiter take our picture. Yes, I wanted it to be completely remembered!

So, after we were done with our food, we left and headed out to the lake. I was beginning to get so nervous, so I distracted myself to just take random pictures of the city until we got there. Our conversation the whole way there was quite bouncy! I was so excited and I think he was still like, "What in the world could this girl have planned?" But, we laughed so much!  We finally pulled up at the lake. That lake has never been so far away, or so it seemed.  We just stopped and looked at one another for a moment. He leaned and kissed me which just added to my butterflies. I remember being the one to pull away and go for the door. I jumped out, grabbed the chalk I had snuck into my purse before we left, and my camera.  After Joey's many attempts to distract me, we walked out onto the little concrete walkway not all the way out, but far enough where we still had light and could feel the wind off the waves.

We were just looking at the water for a while and hugging one another. I put down my little bag of chalk, and began to plan it out. I moved quite a few times, trying to get enough space to spread it all out. I drew enough blanks for it to read:

"Valentine, be mine?"

I didn't want it to be completely obvious, (because I thought he would get it sooner than he did) so I swapped the order instead of it saying "Be My Valentine?" He began to guess letters as if we were playing Hangman, minus the little man and the noose. Joey, being silly like usual, was like "A..B...C..." Taking it as if it were a joke. I got all impatient and sternly said, "No, play for real."

Our beginning blanks (:

Me being as nervous as I was would have to think about each letter he said and spell it over and over in my head. Half the letters he would guess, I wouldn't tell him all the blanks cause I couldn't think straight. So, after he had most of the blanks filled in, I was told him to guess symbols. I left one extra blank on "mine" for the question mark. He looked at me like I was crazy and replied, "Symbols? Really?" Almost as if he really meant, "Jessica, you cant get your head together to do letters and now you want me to guess symbols?" 

Almost there!

He was such a good sport, and it was really fun to do! We were laughing and giggling the whole time. We filled in all the blanks except for the 'V' and he still didn't get it. Then it hit him! "Oh, Babe, you're sweet. This is cute." He was standing there giggling at it and I'm looking him with desperation in my eyes for him to answer for what seems like forever. Finally, he walks up to me, looks me dead in the eyes, and just smiles. By this time, I have tears in my eyes, but he puts his hands on my face and kisses me like he really means it. Made my heart flutter like crazy! He pulled away and I got a "Of course Baby, I'll be your Valentine." A few more tears of complete and utter happiness fell and we kissed and hugged some more.

He said yes! :)

We giggled and were so sweet to each other the rest of the night, but I think the best part was getting to snuggle up to my Lovebug last night and just for him to hold me as we both fell asleep! I know I fell in love with that boy all over again. He is just my Mr. Amazing! I know this year my Valentines day will be amazing, just because I get to spend it with him! I'm one lucky girl! <3

Now to finish up his presents!

P.S. I think I was so nervous because he is my first TRUE Valentine and I'd never asked anyone. You know, a boyfriend that actually cared to do anything special for the day!

Downtown, Down & Around

This post is a little late, but totally worth it. Saturday night was when it should have been posted, but instead Joey and I went downtown to eat a very well known New Orleans "donut," called a Beignet. They sell them pretty close to our house, but everyone agrees to get the full experience of a Beignet, you have to get them from Cafe Du Monde. Cafe Du Monde is located downtown in the French quarter, and is probably the cutest little shop they have down there.

Cafe Du Monde

Let's start this out by describing my Beignet experience.We got downtown and parked about a block or two away from the Cafe. In my opinion, one of the best things about downtown is walking down the sidewalks. As I walk down them, I'm constantly amazed at the uniqueness of the city. No matter which corner you turn, there are always people sitting on the step playing their guitars singing their little hearts away. With their buckets always open for tips, they seem so content. Almost like they aren't really there for the money, but instead just doing what they love without judgement.

We get to the Cafe, and Joey just walks in and leads me to a table. This to me was quite odd because with the hustle and bustle, I thought we'd have to wait in line for our table. We sat down at a little table and I begin to look around taking in the whole environment. Again, I thought we'd be sitting there for awhile because there was so many people! But no, shortly after we sat, a young man came and asked us what we would be having. Two cokes, and two orders of beignets. We sat talking and looking around until our order came out. $5.62 was all it took to completely inspire me.

My Coke, the beignets, and the inquisitive glass of water.

 
When our order came out, our two drinks were placed on the table, then the beignets, and oddly enough to small glasses of water. I looked to Joey kinda like "What in the heck is this for? I didn't want water?"  Whether he was pulling my leg with his response or not, I'd like to think he was for real. Casually he replied, "For your hands." Me, being a beignet virgin, thought to myself... "For my hands? What the heck could I need water for? I'm not that messy."

I took a drink of Coke, (might I add, that was the best Coke I've ever had) and prepared myself to try this weird looking thing on my plate. To say that it was completely covered in powdered sugar is an understatement. It was more than just covered. After I lifted each one of them up, I found even more sugar! That is not a complaint though... Not thinking that their was an art to eating beignets, I began to put it into my mouth as I was taking a breathe in. I felt like I had inhaled more sugar than the daily recommendation for my lungs and had to clear my throat. I kinda pulled it away from my face and just looked at it. Again I put it to my mouth, this time without breathing in, and took a bite. Wow. It was amazing. So amazing, as I write my mouth is watering just thinking about it. From them to look so little on that plate, they were entirely fulfilling. I could only eat two of mine and I had to pass up the third to Joey who also felt completely stuffed. I can not describe the taste, but the closest thing I could compare it to would be a Funnel Cake you get from the fair, just 968231547854 times better!

Back to the little glasses: After I was done indulging my small piece of Heaven, I noticed how messy I was! I had powdered sugar everywhere! On my hands, on my jeans, and all over my mouth! Maybe I am messy... But here is where the water came in handy! I stuck each finger in the water one by one and wiped it off. Dipped my napkin in the water and cleaned my face and mouth so that I could walk back into society and look presentable. That little glass was helpful, just as Joey suggested. But whether or not that's truly the use of it, I'd like to never know. I want to keep on thinking cute that small thing was in fact, just for cleaning.

We left the Cafe and walked around some more. We walked there, ate, and made it back to the truck all within an hour. (I remember this, because as we left the parking lot, the meter made us pay $6 for 1 hour) Like the last time we were down town, we rode around a few times. Crazy as it sounds, part of the fun of downtown, is just seeing all the people walking around. Not to mention laughing at the wild party buses that come by. 

That picture caught two of my favorite things downtown, the many balconies, and the horse drawn carriages. We pulled up to a red light at the corner where the horses stand waiting for their passengers. The man driving the carriages nudge his horse to go and I just happened to hear him to it. "Ya ya, Chopsticks, Ya, ya." And then the horse began to move. I started laughing because I couldn't help but to wonder why this horse was named Chopsticks. I'm astonished at how calm the horses are when there are cars driving so close to them. They don't even get spooked with people blowing their horns. I bet they would with train horns, but I don't want to see the inside of a jail. ;)

The Crescent City Connection Bridge

 Above is a picture of my favorite bridge. No matter where we go in the city, this bridge is visible. And I always try to locate it! I get so happy and proudly announce to everyone when I notice it. "Look, Babe, my bridge!" And when he notices it before I do, "Look Babe, your bridge!"

New Orleans is a beautiful place, and I'm falling in love with the city slowly but surely. It'll never be my Tennessee, but somehow, someway, its becoming more and more.... Home.  <3

Day 2 for Tattoo!

My blog challenge today was to write about my tattoos & piercings if I had either...  I'll start with piercings because that's the easiest...So far I have four piercings, but before I am completely done, I will have a grand total of six.

I got my first piercing when I was 6, if I'm not mistaken. Could have been younger. It was my ear lobes and I got it done in Wal*Mart. My mother and father were both with me and I remember crying so loud! I don't understand how tiny babies get it done and some not even lose a tear. Now that I look back at it, I am not sure which hurt worse, the piercing itself, or the spanking my father gave to me when I began wailing in the middle of the store.

My second piercing was my first cartilage piercing. Its on my left ear, above my second cartilage piercing. I think out of all my piercings, that is the one I had the most trouble out of. It was so hard getting used to sleeping on my right side and when I was on the phone I seem to always forget to use my right ear instead of my left. It was the hardest one to change and I think it only looks right if I wear a stud or a full hoop in it. My father was the one who took me to go get it done which was a big surprise. At the time, he was a very walk the line type of Christian. When I first asked him, I didn't actually think he would say yes. I figured he would think that it was rebellious and tell me no, or for me to wait till I was 18. I knew my mother would be okay with it because she is pretty laid back. It wasn't something that was meant to show any more skin than usual, so I knew it would fly with her. 

My third piercing was my belly button. What I call my first rebellious act. I was told I couldn't have it done till I turned 18 and I got it done without my parents knowing the day after my birthday. It was hidden from my mom for about a week. She, my littler sister, and I kept it from my Step-dad for lord knows how many months. I don't remember how soon my Dad knew, but he didn't say anything bad about it. It is prolly my favorite piercing, just because there are so many kinds of belly button rings! Surprising, it hurt less than my cartilage, but was sore for longer. 

My fourth piercing was my second cartilage piercing, and the one that hurt the least! I wanted it done because... I don't know. Its my one thing I did just because. But now, that I have it, I want one more on that same ear so that I have three little studs right in a row.

My fifth piercing will be my last cartilage piercing to create my three in a row and will below my first cartilage piercing. My sixth will be my nose, if I ever decide to really get it. I've been back and forth on it so much that I don't want to do it until I know for sure I want it done and haven't changed my mind a million times. I think I keep changing my mind because with all my other piercings I couldn't see the needle before they stuck me, but with that one, it will be all up in my face no way not to see it.

Now to Tattoo! 

Most people, or I should say teenagers these days, as soon as they turned 18, they were at the tattoo parlor getting inked. Not I... I have less than a month until I turn 19, and I'm still not tatted up. I, unlike a few people, realize that tattoos are forever. I wanted to find something that meant something significant to me. Something I wouldn't regret when I was 40, something I would feel comfortable showing to my kids and not be embarrassed telling them about it if and when they asked, something personal.

I decided that I wanted an anchor of some sort. To me, an anchor stands for two things that go hand in hand. Stability and being grounded. Not like punished, but like knowing your roots. Where you came from.

Stability: My goal in life is to become stable. That means in my career, in my relationship with my significant other, as well as family. To have a stable household, stable parenting skills, stable everything. I believe stability is the key to having a happy life.

Grounding: I believe family is very important and I insist on never forgetting where I came from. I wont always live in the same place as them, but I know if I needed them or they needed me, we all know where home is. I want my children to always have a place they consider home no matter how old they are and where they end up. To me, there is nothing like sitting at home, enjoying time with the people you love most.

Here is an anchor similar to the one I want. I want my flower to be either a hibiscus, or a cherry blossom. I want subtle colors and for it to be no bigger than the size of a credit card. I'm not sure where I want it, but am sure I want it!

Maybe?

Day 1: Your middle name and how you feel about?

Today challenge is just that, a challenge. I've never sat down and thought about whether or not I liked my middle name. Its not like I was given a choice before it was picked. Just kinda got stuck with it. I can not complain though... it could be a lot worse. Like what if my name was Jessica Xylophone? I'd get looked at kinda weird and I'd probably fail Kindergarten 3 times trying to pass my name test.

Jessica Nicole kinda flows to me. It could be because I've heard it all my life and maybe I'm a little bit biased... I do like the way I write it and I cant imagine myself with any other middle name. So, I guess you could say, I do like my middle name.

P.S. Let's just be honest, this isn't the easiest topic, so I'm gonna cut it short and not bore myself.

My Bestfriend, My Boyfriend

Every couple has a love story, ours just began a long time ago...

We met in September of 2009 at the Liberty vs. Lexington football game. I think we spoke maybe 4 or 5 sentences to one another, if that. Seems like it was pretty casual from then until a night in January. I was at Stacye's house and she had been some what talking to Aaron for about a week or so. Aaron and Joey came over and from then, I guess you could say I had a crush on him. I felt instantly close to him... So close, I asked him to go pee with me/take me to pee. We added each other on MySpace and flirted a little back and forth until the next time we hung out. That next time we hung out is when I knew I had something for this boy.

We left Stacye's and I remember him complaining about having to wear his glasses. I thought they were pretty cute, one of those quirky cute accessories. We made casual conversation all the way into Lexington, then we stopped at the red light. I look over at him, he is looking at me with this grin on his face. I remember thinking "What is his deal?" Then, I'm laughing my butt off because he has come across the seat and is tickling me like crazy. Ever since then, I could not pass that red light with out thinking about that. Even when I was with other people, as soon as we pulled up, I began to smile. It was kinda like my little secret I shared with him, and only him.

The Tickle Light

 The rest of the night we rode around, had an amazing time, but most important of all, we began to fall... We hung out a few more times after that. We shared some amazing moments just holding each other while staring out into the lake. I think the night air, wild life, and beautiful stars make people fall in love. Seems like I just love being anywhere at night when its calm and peaceful, but it truly is amazing when I'm with him.

Then we come to night that changed my life... Figured it would be a routine night where we hung out and gave hugs to see each other the next weekend or whatever. Gosh, I was wrong. It was the night he told me he was moving to New Orleans. That was the first time I shed as many tears as I did in front of any guy... I had quite a few emotions running through my head and didn't know how to express them except to just hold on to him as tight as I could.  At this point in our relationship, we were still "friends," yet I felt like I was losing so much more than just my friend. We decided to go on with the night as normal, but I made him promise me we would hang one more time before he left which brings me to his last night in Tennessee...

Our First Picture, taken on the last night in TN.

As sad as the last night was, it was one of our greatest. After a wonderful Mexican birthday surprise filled with whip cream, we decided to end the night in a parking lot by my old house. We playfully argued over a small toy truck which resulted in me gaining possession of the while Hurley had I'm wearing in the picture. I shed a fear more tears in front of him, but even more that night as I laid down to go to sleep. I remember so vividly crying myself to sleep that night... He wasn't "mine," nor did we have any type of commitment laid down, yet I already missed him dearly.

Things have always been back and forth with us... Scratch that. Things have always been back and forth with me. I was always the one that had a boyfriend and could never fully let myself fall for him. He was the one ALWAYS there for me. I remember nights where I'd call him well after I knew he had been asleep and surprisingly, he'd answer, we'd talk, and I would feel better. He never got mad to my knowledge, never seemed angry that I'd interrupted his sleep knowing he had to get up early in the morning. Just always willing to listen and pick up the pieces to my broken heart.

Here is where it gets good... About 4 months ago (October 2011), we began to talk again. This time I knew I was mentally ready to give him what he deserved. My entire attention, me not to hold anything back, and for me not to second guess him. He came to Tennessee and I had the biggest butterflies I'd ever felt. Yeah, we'd seen each other here and there for 20 or so minutes since his last night there, but it'd been almost 2 years since we'd hung out. Like me and him, only us. I stayed awake with him the entire night and talked to him his entire drive up here. Gosh, I was so giddy. I knew I loved this boy, but I did not know that this one weekend would forever change my life. It was absolutely perfect.

I had class that morning and wanted so bad to skip it to see him sooner. I think that was the longest hour and half of my whole life. Class was finally over and we were about to meet him at the hotel. Nanny and I were in Wal*Mart and I remember her telling me I looked like I was high on crack I was smiling so hard. Finally the big moment came, and there he was. He hugged me, and my heart stopped. I had missed him more than I even knew. We took my stuff up to the hotel and then began to try and make plans on what the weekend would have in store. It was Halloween weekend and I mentioned carving pumpkins. He had never carved a pumpkin before, so instantly that was at the top of the list. We were going to carve his first pumpkin. We searched multiple stores for pumpkins, but with it being so close to Halloween almost all of them were either sold out or didn't have a good selection. Aaron and Stacye came to the hotel and after a large pumpkin and shaving cream fight, we had a masterpiece....and a fairly LARGE mess!

Aren't we great carvers?

 The amazing night came to an end and we snuggled up for the last time. I was already beginning to miss him and almost immediately realized this weekend back and forth deal wouldn't last, but didn't want to think about all that and dampen the mood. After a wonderful nights rest, we awoke just as we had fell asleep, all snuggled up. We hit up Olive Garden, one of mine and his favorites that we had been wanting to go to for a while. I remember sitting there dreading the next few hours... I knew he would have to leave soon, but I just kept trying to avoid those thoughts.

My favorite of the 20 or so "random&ridiculous" pictures we took.

It came time for him to leave and go back home. Nanny met us at Wal*Mart after he and I had taken a numerous amount of pictures that were random and ridiculous to say the least... I put my stuff in her truck and preceded to say my goodbyes. I held it together until we put the truck into drive and began to drive away. It was like somebody had turned on a faucet. I cried, cried, and cried some more. It was even harder to watch him get on the interstate not knowing exactly when the next time I would see him was....

Our relationship only grew stronger for the next three months. I was ready to take a risk not many people would be courageous enough to actually follow through with. I wanted to be with him, no matter what it took. I wanted to move to New Orleans to be with my best friend who had grown into becoming so much more... I proposed the idea to my family and they supported me as much as a loving family could support one of their own moving 500 or so miles away. We set a date and began to wait it out. Lord, those days couldn't go by fast enough, yet the were passing so quickly. Then, it was the day!

Joey arrived in Tennessee so early in the morning, but I was so happy to see him it didn't even phase me. I already had my stuff packed for the majority. After resting, exchanging Christmas presents, and talking with Nanny and Poppy, we loaded everything up and hit the road to go meet my Dad. I wasn't nervous at all about this, because I knew he would approve of someone who treated me as well as Joey does. Joey and Dad met and hit it off well. We exchanged Christmas presents and by this time, 8 hours of driving was surely catching up to him. We awoke, and got ready to head out. Next stop, Jackson to get a hotel for the night so we could meet the rest of my family the next day. We decided on seeing my Mom and Matt that night, but my little sister was at my Aunt's and I couldn't leave without saying by to her. The next day came and we finished up meeting everyone and exchanging the last few presents....

Surprisingly, over the course of the past 2 days, I had shed a very minimum amount of tears and made it the whole drive into New Orleans without tears and without sleeping. I was confident in my decision and am still to this day, a month later. Yes, I miss my family dearly and some times I want to go back, but at the end of the day, I know this is where I want to be. With my best friend, my boyfriend. :)

 I love you, Babe.

Consider It a Preface?

Here we go... Let's keep it basic for now.

I'm Jessica. And I wish I looked like that (^) everyday. Plain and simple, yet beautiful... Not that I don't feel beautiful, just that, like any other girl, some days it is a lot harder than others to feel as amazing as I did that day.

Today is one of those days. I woke up this morning/early afternoon and felt like I had been hit by a bus. I didn't have a long night up partying, but instead I made myself fall asleep last night pretty late when I wasn't even sleepy. Some how this morning I finally rolled over from the dead, looked around, and then looked at the clock. 10:37am. I thought to myself, "How can this even be?! I wasn't even tired when I went to sleep... How did I manage to sleep all day once again? And where's Joey? Why didn't he wake me up and tell me bye?"

Once I finally woke up physically AND mentally, I realized that just like every morning, he probably did tell me goodbye, I was just too asleep to remember. I grabbed some shorts out of my dresser, looked in the mirror, snarled my nose, and then almost fell to the floor as I grabbed my head. I could feel every heartbeat, and hear it. Instantly I knew it was going to be one lazy day that starts out with a massive headache.

I came out of the room and headed straight to my secret affair. His name is Coffee Pot, and our relationship is patchy. Depends on the day to determine our attraction, but our "chemistry" is always there. Grabbed my favorite coffee drinking cup and begin to make love to the sugar bowl. Lots & lots would do the trick. Stirred it, stirred it, and stirred some more, and found myself stirring myself back to sleep. Guess I wasn't in the mood for waking up at all... After a few sips, I began to come out of that mood. By this time, it was 11ish. One hour until Joey comes home for lunch.

Within the hour, I began to set up this blog. I knew last week I wanted to start a blog, but I had no clue how I should start it, what it should be about, or what it would become. I've followed a few blogs before and they seemed to inspire me to write. So why not do it? I thought it over multiple times within the week, and decided for sure, I was going to make it happen.

After Joey went back to work, I sat back down with the intention of laying out the first blog with ease. Ehh, not so much. Didn't happen as planned. This isn't as easy as I thought it was, but ironically, as I write I'm getting excited at all the places I can go with this blog... I looked up a 30 day challenge, just to make sure I can start the first month off with a wide topic range. Tomorrow starts the challenge, but as for today, I'm going to try to justify my reason for this blog.

I have realized throughout the past six or so months that its really hard to maintain a happy go lucky persona if you keep everything bottled up inside. No, I will not let this become a whiney/crybaby sob story, but rather solidify my view on things and use it as a daily dose of "ventilation."

Since it is the first blog, I won't bore it down and make it a million pages long. In conclusion, I hope to be able to look back at this collection later in the year and see myself mature, become more expressive, and grasp a hold of self identity.

Sincerely,
Ms. Needs More Coffee.